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Tips for When Your Elderly Parent Refuses Help

September 20, 2010

For aging parents, accepting help can mean letting go of something else—pride, fear, denial, routine. And many just refuse to do that, suggests Carolyn L. Rosenblatt, R.N., B.S.N., P.H.N., author of The Boomer’s Guide To Aging Parents.

To help your aging parent consider home care, assisted living or a nursing home, Rosenblatt offers a few tips at For example:

If feasible, we always encourage a family meeting, including not only adult children, but caring others as well. A best friend may hold more sway in convincing a stubborn parent to think about safety than “the kids.” (What do they know anyway?) Clergy, or someone the aging parent looks up to and respects, can be invaluable in persuading a change of heart.

Of course, Rosenblatt points out, “There’s no law against adults (even aging ones) making stupid decisions.”

You can read all her tips here: “Helping Aging Parents Who Don’t Want Help.” You may also find these OurParents posts on communicating with your aging parents helpful.

Have you dealt with an elderly parent who wouldn’t accept help? What happened?

If you have any questions about this post or need help finding senior-care options for a loved one, call 1-866-483-4896 to speak with a care advisor in your area.

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