Stop Arguing With Siblings Over Elder-Care By Playing to “Styles”

When a parent needs long-term care and siblings are involved, it’d be nice if everybody just got along, wouldn’t it? But so often, that’s not the case.

Caregiver expert Linda Rhodes writes about this from a financial perspective in a recent blog post at the website for Pennsylvania newspaper The Patriot-News. She answers a question about siblings not being able to agree on how much money to spend on their mother’s care.

Rhodes says there are four basic money styles: savers, spenders, avoiders and worriers. If, say, you’re a saver and your sister is a spender and your mom wants to move to assisted living:

Instead of arguing with your sister over “what’s best for Mom,” use your differing perspectives to cover all the bases in exploring her options. Your sister could take your mom to view different places and make a list of the pros and cons of each place in terms of lifestyle. Your job is to identify the actual costs of living there and any pitfalls in contracts or fees that would jeopardize your mom’s finances.

The post also describes the different money styles. Perhaps you can recognize yourself or a sibling in them.

For previous OurParents posts with advice on dealing with siblings, click here.

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Leigh Ann Otte is a freelance writer who specializes in health and aging issues. She covers finding and paying for senior care for OurParents. If you have any questions about this post or need help finding senior-care options for a loved one, call 1-866-483-4896 to speak with a care advisor in your area.